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Posted on 18 September 2007
Wise Blogger Phil Andrews said:
Everybody's happy nowadays
I've been there and done the guilt-motivated stuff to try and kick-start improvements in my character and life, and it certainly didn't lead to an increase of happiness, just to being more uptight and anxious about slipping up again and despairing about the treadmill I'd set before me. Working hard to be 'a good person' is a totally misery-making way of life because my focus was inward-looking, about MY position, MY relationships, MY (ironically) peace of mind. Once I figured out that I was being so much harder on myself than everyone else was, I started to feel better. And what if someone is standing by to see me fall? Should I placate them, twisting myself around to please them? Maybe not. If they’re so focused on my failings, who is it who’s got the problem?
I don't think being a spiritual person guarantees happiness (depending on how your philosophy defines both spirituality and happiness), in fact it probably requires commitment to a process of unhappiness in order to become more sensitive to ourselves and others, and involving among other things being honest with ourselves to the point of ruthlessness, disciplined in what we let go off and pick up, open-mindeded to think outside of our usual definitions. Becoming sensitised to what’s really going on in our lives below the surface and the lives of those around us, is to embrace pain. Reality bites, but is that something to fear? How can the process of transformation of a life or relationship begin without us saying where I am right now is not great?
Day to day happiness is maybe less to do with what happens to us and more about where we’re coming from in life. Peace doesn’t have much to do with easeful living and an absence of struggle but in being reconciled to the necessity of holding the good, the bad and even the world-rockingly devastating experiences in our lives in creative tension. For me this takes a determined kind of hopefulness rooted outside of my uneven life in the reliability of God.
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happiness
We all want to be happy, but lasting fulfilment often eludes us. How do we know what to aim for? Is happiness really possible or desirable?
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relationships
For good or bad, our lives are shaped by our relationships with other people. How can we make the most of our encounters, both with those who inspire us and those we find difficult?
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loss
Loss, in all its forms, seems to characterise the human experience. It breaks us and re-shapes our lives in ways we would not choose. What can help us survive this process, even when we’ve no hope left inside?
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Comments
Posted at 16:47:37 on 02 January 2008
Jack made a Wise Comment:
In order to be trully at peace I believe one must embrace the good and bad events in our lives as an opportunity to glimpse our true selves through the way we react to them. Everything that lands on our lap is the very best thing for our own spiritual development; but we must look within at how we respond and why. Happy New Year.
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