An extract from Wise Traveller: Loss

I see the land around me...

I'm having to admit that some of my dreams will never be fulfilled. There are a number of careers I'm already too late for; footballers and stock traders have retired by my age. When I was young and opportunities seemed endless there was no pressure to know where I was going and what I really wanted to do. Now I'm starting to know what to aim for just as my choices are diminishing. As I look ahead I fear I'm destined to reach old age knowing exactly what it was I was supposed to have done while no longer being able to ever do it.

We are defined in our world by what we do and the thought of 'having done nothing with my life' scares me. But should this be so? In the end when I'm not 'doing' anything it'll be who I am that defines me. Will I like who I am? Do I like who I am now? Perhaps as my options reduce the most important opportunity of all lies open: to become a person worth growing old with.

Steve Hollinghurst

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